The Power of Habit–And Making Your Bed (Guest Blog by Todd Shirley)

This week’s post comes from returning guest blogger, Todd Shirley. Todd is a talented writer with a wealth of knowledge to share. I hope you are inspired to leave a comment or engage in conversation after reading this post. To learn more about Todd, please visit his biography at the end and check out his blog here.

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The Power of Habit–And Making Your Bed

I have a habit of talking to myself. It has lead to some embarrassing situations. One time at a job I worked in high school, co workers, customers, and my bosses stopped business briefly to share a communal laugh at this habit.  As I cleaned the large windows of the shop, the sun was at my back and reflected onto my eyes. I couldn’t see into the store while everyone could clearly see me wiping the windows and pantomiming an argument I was having inside my head.

As an adult, nothing gets me talking to myself more than when I read a good non-fiction book. In a weird way, I live the facts that I pick up from it.  The Power of Habit: Why we do what we do in life and business by Charles Duhigg is such a book to trigger this habit several times over.  I highly recommend it.

The following three points from the book are my favorite. I have also shared  how they relate to me.

1: Habits are inevitable because our brains RELY on habits:

Nothing makes the brain take up more energy than novel experiences. To move an experience into the realm of a habit offers the brain a tremendous cost savings for its resources.

Consider this point in terms of dialing a new ten digit phone number. I estimate there are over thirty steps involved. Each number has to be recognized, located on the dial pad, and double-checked for accuracy. To dial a familiar number, your brain doesn’t approach it in several steps; it approaches it as one movement of your finger.

In my day to day work I encounter middle schoolers from foreign countries. I’ve heard time and again that their day is eight times more tiring than students who are familiar with the school district, speak English and understand our customs.

2: We operate under the influence of keystone habits:

Keystone habits are habits that dictate other habits.

I struggle all the time to eat breakfast before work.  While reading the book, I decided to begin focusing on making my bed before work instead of preparing breakfast. In doing so, I found out I had more time before work than I realized. This led to frying up some eggs and eating them.  After about the fifth time doing this, I thought I was on to something.  Regularly now I eat breakfast about four times a week but no longer make my bed.

3: Habits don’t go extinct, they get written over:

I haven’t touched a mountain bike in years but feel pretty confident I could hop on one and make my way down the street.  The habits necessary to ride my bike are still there but were written over by habits relevant to driving my car.

The book, The Power of Habit, has many implications for an individual’s life as well as how organizations work.  I found it rewarding and encouraging as it seems to lift the veil of mystery that often covers up human behavior. I hope I’ve piqued your interest by writing about my personal experiences as they relate to this book.

Anyone care to venture a guess about what I do now instead of talking to myself?  Leave a comment with your best idea and I’ll reveal the answer…

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Todd Shirley works full time as a school counselor and carries a caseload of clients who are in the foster care system. When he is not working, he is reading, working out, cooking Paleo and discussing all that is arbitrary about life. Oh-and his favorite animal is the manatee. Todd is an incredible guest blogger with a wealth of knowledge to share. I hope you are inspired to leave a comment, engage in conversation or visit his blog having now read this post. You are always welcome to share your thoughts below!

 

Examining the Foundation of Effective Teamwork (Guest Blog by Todd Shirley)

This week’s post comes from returning guest blogger, Todd Shirley. Todd is a talented writer with a wealth of knowledge to share. I hope you are inspired to leave a comment or engage in conversation after reading this post. To learn more about Todd, please visit his biography at the end.

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Examining The Foundation of Effective Teamwork

I am convicted about my work. I show initiative. I am highly motivated to promote positive change for my student’s learning and home environments. I hope to empower educators and parents through consultation to effectively work with adolescents. I consider myself well read on counseling related materials and special populations. I often boast or complain about my 65 hour work week entrenched in counseling related work.

This does not mean I am a good team player.

Teamwork is hard for me.  It’s also a fact of life. Professionally, I stand with a foot in both education and human service;  EVERYTHING I do is through the vehicle of an education team or service team.

Ayn Rand was not cut out for either field.

Recently another hectic school year came to an end. I used my time off to reflect and ready myself to face another summer filled with teams.  What resulted is a new understanding of teamwork that I describe as the following:

1. Delegation Is An Opportunity To Encourage

Team projects can be difficult experiences for me as I tend to embody a “if it’s going to be done right, I have to do it” mindset.  Now I see teams and group projects as an opportunity to demonstrate trust and encouragement through delegation.  Delegating allows others to reach a goal.  Helping others reach goals was exhilarating this year.

2. It’s Valuable To Pay Attention To Resentment

I recently found myself talking to people about how I resented one of my school teams. This team deals with student concerns but looks to me with facial expressions that seem to say “isn’t it your job to care about these things?”  It goes without saying, I feel it’s the team’s job to care about student concerns.

Three helpful insights came from paying attention to my resentment:

1. My inability to let things go.

2. My inability to say “no” to things.

3. My inability to accept people for where they are and not be angry with them for where they should be.

The last insight was powerful because I try to nudge everyone I work with to reach a point of acceptance about others and life circumstances.

3. Teamwork Can Be The Kitchen That Makes Good Humble Pie

This school year’s end of year faculty meeting provided the inspiration for this post. Faculty meetings in my building often involve a lot of tangents and side chit-chat. This year, everyone fell notably silent as a co-worker (and team member of mine) shared information I had put together.

“10% of our students were referred to our student assistance team this year. Of those 10%, 25 students had to miss school due to illness or death of a parent.  14 were referred for non-suicidal self injurious behaviors etc…”

I was taken aback as I realized the information had to come from her for it to matter. If I had presented (which I enjoy doing), I would have been dismissed. As disheartening information related to our individual students came from a fellow teacher, people received it readily. Apparently, things can get done without me. Fork please!

Looking Ahead

I believe passion in my field can either prevent or cause burnout.  I hope to do this kind of work forever but if I am an ineffective team member, I don’t know if I can.

If I can approach teamwork as an opportunity to encourage others, establish trust, and embrace humility,  it’s only going to help students, families, and educators embody this approach too.

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Todd Shirley works full time as a school counselor and carries a caseload of clients who are in the foster care system. When he is not working, he is reading, working out, cooking Paleo and discussing all that is arbitrary about life. Oh-and his favorite animal is the manatee. Todd is an incredible guest blogger with a wealth of knowledge to share. I hope you are inspired to leave a comment or engage in conversation having now read this post. You are always welcome to share your thoughts below!

 

The Bennis Blogger Battle: We Have a Winner!

Well it’s certainly been a great run for the first ever Bennis Blogger Battle! As most of you following these past several weeks know, we’ve been running a friendly (but quite competitive) blogger battle where your guest blog posts have been featured one week at a time with the goal of trying to earn the most hits, likes, ratings and comments as possible in 7 days. Thanks to the wonders of WordPress analytics (and my obsession in checking blog hits), I’ve broken down the scores of each blogger to determine who earns this prestigious title and $25 Star Bucks gift card of course. With all interactions added together, the Official Bennis Blogger Battle Champion is…..

MARK MATHIA – Visit him here.

But I’m not joking when I said this competition was fierce! Take a look at how all the stats played out (listed in order of blog publication):

Mark Mathia Blog post:“Leadership Finesse”

Blog hits:498 Blog Likes:12 Thumbs Up:20 Comments (not including author replies):8

Total Interactions: 538

Rory Alexander Blog post: “Why Success Is More Likely If You Do What You Love”

Blog hits: 441 Blog Likes:24 Thumbs Up:13 Comments (not including author replies):12

Total Interactions: 490

Todd Shirley Blog post: “Quarter Life Crisis As An Indicator of Differentiation”

Blog hits:501 Blog Likes:10 Thumbs Up:13 Comments (not including author replies):2

Total Interactions: 526

Sam Bessant Blog post: “Success Versus the Work-Life Balance”

Blog hits:484 Blog Likes:9 Thumbs Up:22 Comments (not including author replies):6

Total Interactions: 521

Anonymous Blog post: “One Cell, One Lesson”

Blog hits: 291 Blog Likes:8 Thumbs Up:6 Comments (not including author replies):3

Total Interactions: 308

Britany Wallace Blog Post: “Taking Control of First Impressions”

Blog hits: 429 Blog Likes: 8 Thumbs Up: 4 Comments (not including author replies): 2

Total Interactions: 443

Cheval John Blog post: “Your Brand is Your Identity“

Blog hits: 276 Blog Likes: 8 Thumbs Up: 6 Comments (not including author replies): 2

Total Interactions: 292

Amy Gaines Blog post: “The Yes List“

Blog hits:478  Blog Likes: 4  Thumbs Up: 3  Comments (not including author replies): 1

Total Interactions: 486

Detra Trueheart Blog Post: “It Is What YOU Make It”

Blog hits: 477 Blog Likes:8 Thumbs Up:13 Comments (not including author replies): 7

Total Interactions: 505

To everyone who competed in this blogger battle, I am truly grateful for the time and energy you put into creating such quality blog posts. I was proud to feature them on my blog and I hope they helped drive some traffic your way. For all of our fellow readers out there who were too timid to battle it out this round…there will be more! Until then, please take a moment to check out the competitors blogs and social media. They’re definitely a talented crew!

Looking to next week….

I’m back on my soap box again and boy have I missed the limelight! During these weeks off I’ve been working on a great line-up of blog posts to share with you. Stay tuned for posts from yours truly starting up again next Monday. Are you excited?!

 

It Is What YOU Make It (Guest Blog by Detra Trueheart)

The following blog post is part of the Bennis Blogger Battle. Support Detra by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment and sharing it on your social media! The blog with the most hits, wins. (And remember, this is the LAST entry in the Blogger Battle, so stay tuned next week when we enthusiastically announce the winner!)

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On my way home from vacation this past week, I began thinking about how one event or circumstance can drastically alter and affect how we view ourselves or life in general.  It got me thinking about one of my signature keynotes entitled, ‘IT is what you make it’.  It talks about how there will be many things in life that will happen but our IT (whatever that may be at that time in your life) is what we make it.  It is our perspective that will drastically affect how we view what happens to us.   Your IT may be your job, your business, your marriage, your finances, your confidence level, or your health.  But whatever your IT is, it is what you make it.  YOU have the power to make your ‘IT’ what you desire it to be.

For the Easter holiday, my family and I vacationed in Cape Cod, MA.  We had a great time and returned home safely.  However, the trip could have been looked at as something less than spectacular if you had gotten a speeding ticket 3 hours into the drive, arrived drastically later than anticipated, cut your hand while washing one of the resort’s glasses resulting in a visit to the emergency to get four stitches in your hand and weather that wasn’t so great as well.  But I live by a mantra that says “IT is what you make it”.  I decided to make my IT, my vacation, what I wanted to be in spite of some of the shortcomings.

You should know that your IT can be whatever you want it to be at any time of your life in whatever situation you find yourself in.  My IT was my vacation and my firm decision not to let any of the aforementioned things damper my mood.  My expectations to have a good time and enjoy myself resulted in that very thing happening.

So let me ask you….. What is your IT?  Are you making your situation larger or smaller than it needs to be?  Are you expecting something great to happen or are you just letting it happen.  You see, what you think about your bring about.  What you expect, you get.  Making up your mind before your IT is affected puts you in the mindset to not let what happens to you impact or shake you.  Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can or can’t, you are right.” The understanding is that whatever you think is right.  You have the power to determine your own perception of your life and what may be happening currently in your life. Did you know that according to T. Harv Eker author of the “Secrets of the Millionaire Mindset, your mind is your biggest obstacle to success.  No matter what has happened to you in your past, whether you think you can get past it or not depends on if you think you can or can’t.

Well my challenge to you is to look within.  Look inside yourself, you have the power to create whatever you put your mind to.  Will it be easy, absolutely Not!  But, YOU can make a decision to be BETTER no BITTER because in the end, IT is what you make it!

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Detra M. Trueheart is a professional speaker and life and empowerment coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping individuals live life IN and ON purpose. Detra is also the President/Founder of the Young Miss Buffalo Pageant: Scholarship & Enrichment Program (ymbp.org) serving girls ages 13-17. If you want to find out how Detra can help you life with more purpose, passion and power, visit http://www.trueheartspeaks.com

 

Last Call for the Bennis Blogger Battle

It’s been a fun ride for sure, but it’s time we bring the Bennis Blogger Battle competition to a close! There’s room for just one more entry this coming Monday, April 16th and this slot is first come, first served. (email me at Stephanie(at)BennisInc.com) If no entries are received by Saturday, April 14th at Noon, we will proceed with the announcing of the Grand Winner of the Blogger Battle on Monday morning!

I’ve been diligently tracking blog hits, likes, thumbs-ups and comments and you’ll be able to see how every blogger did and revisit their blogs if you’d like. If you haven’t given your support to your favorite entries, you still have time to go back and give them some love. This is also a prime opportunity for blog authors to share your entry with your networks in hopes of boosting your rankings.

Best of luck to all competitors and any final entries should be submitted as soon as possible for a final chance to be featured on the Bennis Inc Blog!

 

The Yes List: Finding Meaning in the “To Do” List (Guest Blog by Amy Gaines)

The following blog post is part of the Bennis Blogger Battle. Support Amy by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment and sharing it on your social media! The blog with the most hits, wins.

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In a recent battle with the ever-growing To Do List, the relationship between completing TDL tasks and building a personal brand developed new meaning: that of being a concrete, comprehensive, collected list of commitments.

Commitments are just that – something we have committed to complete by saying “Yes.” When we complete these tasks, our integrity, trustworthiness, and personal marketability increases because our word turned into our action.

And yet, maintaining the perspective that every item on that list is an opportunity to grow and improve our personal brand takes work. It takes work to guard the items to which we commit, work to keep track of those commitments, work to follow through on those commitments, and work to give 100% of our effort to those commitments. And in the midst of all that work, the tie between our word and our action is easily buried.

However, investing in the effort needed to maintain that perspective reaps significant benefits. Let’s take a closer look at the work involved in building your personal brand by making your word equal your action.

Guarding the TDL

If we are quick to say yes to everything, our commitments become unruly. Even high performers that churn through tasks quickly will eventually be overrun by an unkempt TDL. Learning to say “no” to certain commitments creates an opportunity to limit what goes on your TDL and allows you to focus on specific tasks. Good guidelines for identifying what goes on the TDL include: basic job responsibilities, direct requests from managers, [your] special interest projects, and personal favors.

Organizing the TDL

Many, many resources exist for taking and maintaining stock of commitments on the TDL. A personal favorite is the “Getting Things Done” series by David Allen. Regardless of the method, keeping track of the madness is mandatory.

Acting on the TDL

Break your commitments into actions and act. Keep stock of the resources you need to act on your commitments. Analyze the time a commitment will require before adding it to your TDL to ensure you have the time to complete the actions needed to follow through with the commitment. Above all else, learn to take your word (your commitments) and turn it into action.

Shifting our perspective to recognize the direct connection between our word/our actions and our personal brand is crucial to both success and sanity [especially in the professional world]. Recognizing this connection reminds us of the meaning and importance of each and every task on our TDL because that task is ultimately linked to a commitment. Completing our commitments sets a foundation of integrity for our personal brand that gives us added encouragement and footing to move forward successfully.

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Amy Gaines is a functional software consultant in the higher education industry. Her specialties include recruiting, admissions, and enrollment management. She loves to travel, read and write, and chase a thought to completion. Helping customers improve their processes, efficiency and reporting gives her the most satisfaction. Please support Amy by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment below and visiting her personal blog “This Imperfect Life” at greyceiling.wordpress.com

 

Your Brand is Your Identity (Guest Blog by Cheval John)

The following blog post is part of the Bennis Blogger Battle. Support Cheval by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment and sharing it on your social media! The blog with the most hits, wins.

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Most people understand and implement the concept of branding in their business every day. It is also most people that only associate branding with a product or business. While this is certainly one aspect to branding, what most fail to realize is that the most important brand you have control of is yourself.

But what does that mean? It means that when you go out and do your day-to-day duties, the rest of the world will view you either positively or a negatively depending on how you treat people. You are constantly forming your own brand based upon your actions.

For example, if you act consistently like a jerk to people, whether at work, school, recreation, etc, then you develop a reputation (brand) of being an unpleasant person to be around and that reputation will often precede you. Even if you do recognize this character flaw and make efforts to change your behavior, it will take a very long time to repair that trust with the people that you hurt. For better or worse, your brand is more a constant that it is a variable.

To translate into business terms, if you are the CEO of a large company, how you treat your employees and clients on a daily basis determines the perception the world develops about your company and whether they support your business.

Take this real-life example: Sir Richard Branson turned the Virgin Group into one of the most recognizable brands in the world. They have over 300 products ranging from cell phones to airlines. Branson first started this enterprise as Virgin Records in 1970 with successful music acts that made the company millions of dollars. With this capital, he then started Virgin Atlantic with the first transatlantic flight from London to Newark in the 1980’s. When the airline began to struggle as the result of a “dirty tricks” campaign by their competitor, British Airways, Branson sold his record company in order to save the airline. The decision made him realize that he was the Virgin brand that ultimately influenced and determined the fate of the company and whatever he put his mind to, he had the control to make happen. With the realization of the power of his personal brand, he has since turned Virgin Atlantic into the second largest airline in the United Kingdom.

The lesson from Branson’s story is that if you make the effort to form a strong, positive brand and learn how to harness this power, you have the ability to take your business to level far beyond just a product or a service.

Cheval D. John started “Vallano Media” on February 6, 2012. Previously, it was a blog called “What’s The Word?” and it remains vital to the website. In addition to running the site, Cheval is a freelance reporter for The Huntsville Item, a daily newspaper in Huntsville, Texas and a team member of Priority One Public Relations, an on-campus public relations firm. Please support Cheval by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment below and visiting his personal blog: http://vallanomedia.com/.

 

Taking Control of First Impressions (Guest Blog by Britany Wallace)

The following blog post is part of the Bennis Blogger Battle. Support Britany by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment and sharing it on your social media! The blog with the most hits, wins.

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First impressions are important, but another person’s view of us is ‘outside our control’. So what can we control? The most important thing in our control is our personal commitment to ‘leading ourselves’. If we can’t lead ourselves we can’t lead others. The first step is recognizing that ‘Everything We Do In Life Counts’. This is a constant process and includes everything we do both public and private.

Every choice we make must have a purpose. There are no insignificant choices in life. The small things always matter. What are some other things that COUNT?

 

• Self-discipline in every area of our life
• Developing Personal Character
• Personal Development
• Commitment to Excellence
• How we invest our energies and time
• How we treat others

If we take this approach in life our ‘first impressions’ will be driven by a set of core beliefs that stand on their own. It is said that we become the 5 people we spend the most time around. Look at your 5 closest friends (their character, habits, attitudes, etc) and you will see yourself. If we are committed to developing the character qualities of a leader, we will draw to ourselves people who are just like we are. The ‘lasting impressions’ of those closest to us are the ones that really count. First impressions will take care of themselves.

What is a First Impression?

We know what first impressions are but we DON’T know how much they can help or harm you and the relationships you try to build. A first impression is formed between the first 10 seconds and 5 minutes you are in someone’s presence. PROBLEM: They are private and we have no idea what other people are thinking about us.

First Impressions:

• Can improving or degrading
• Are private
• Can be informed and influenced by personal values and biases; therefore preempting the impression to a particular state (before the meeting even occurs)
• Are formed based on our actions and reactions, language, tone, appearance, even environments (i.e. what or whom we surround ourselves with)

We may not know or want to believe it (Wizard’s First Rule), but people are watching us… Yes, WATCHING… Scary, right? But true.

Can I Control the First Impression Formed?

Yes, and no. We can control it by preparing for that first meeting. If we do, the first impression will be more stable and likely more positive. However, Geoffrey James cites that there isn’t a logical thought process which individuals experience. Truth is, it’s a reaction both immediate and unconscious. Many sources detail how to form a positive first impression, but they want you to ACT LIKE SOMETHING YOU AREN’T!

David Wygant discusses that your self-confidence is the most important part of your first impression. Low confidence makes it hard for anyone else to believe in you. The best way to market your personal brand is BUZZ marketing. Let people talk about you. LeadershipFreak says that other people will talk about you if you let them. Let other people’s words give you confidence and pride in who you are.

First impressions determine how each interaction proceeds from that point forward. The first impression made on anyone is foundational.

Take Initiative. Research:

• The person
• The company
• Purpose for meeting
• That person’s values
• Their superiors (subordinates)
• Try to find a contact within the company or close to them in the hierarchy

Mark Oakes encourages us to monitor and protect what we can control about our first impressions. You CAN control what you do and say that people will see and interpret; not their thoughts. Be cognizant of those things; use them to your advantage.

How do I Control My First Impressions?

• Stay Positive
• Be yourself
• Be confident
• Let others market your brand
• Pay attention to your actions and words; they can help or hurt you
• Be unforgettable; not memorable
• Ask relevant, interesting questions
• Do preliminary research
• Ask for information to look into and follow-up on

“Wizard’s First Rule: People will believe anything you tell them because A) they are afraid it is true or B) they want it to be true.”   -Zeddicus Zul Zorander, Wizard’s First Rule by Terry Goodkind

Credits:
Edberg, Hendrik. How to Make A Great First Impression. Retrieved from:  http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2007/03/16/how-to-make-a-great-first-impression/.
Goodkind, Terry. Wizard’s First Rule.
James, Geoffrey. 2011. How Important Are First Impressions? Retrieved from:  http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505183_162-28554948-10391735/how-important-are-first-impressions/.
Laskowski, Lenny. 1998. How to Create A Great First Impression. Retrieved from: http://www.ljlseminars.com/impress.htm.
Willis, Janine & Alexander Todorov. 2006. First Impressions: Making Up Your Mind After a 100-Ms Exposure To A Face. Retrieved from:  http://pss.sagepub.com/content/17/7/592.short.
Wygant, David. 2010. How Important Are First Impressions? Retrieved from:  http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/how-important-are-first-impressions/4398/.

Other Resources:
http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/FirstImpressions.htm
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200405/the-first-impression
http://thinkexist.com/quotes/with/keyword/first_impressions/

Britany Wallace is a senior business student at Moravian College in Bethlehem and loves blogging in her free time. She expects to travel for volunteer and learning opportunities during the summer and look for permanent work afterward. She enjoys volunteer work, mostly construction and helping at animal shelters and in her free time she reads for knowledge and pleasure. Please support Britany by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment below and visiting her at kebperspectives.wordpress.com, lifelongstudentofbusiness.wordpress.com or bwallaceperspectives.blogspot.com. (Introduction by Mark O. Oakes, a wonderful contact of KEBPerspectives. Follow him on Twitter @MarkOOakes)

 

One Cell, One Lesson (Guest Blog by A Dear Friend)

The following blog post is part of the Bennis Blogger Battle. Support the author by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment and sharing it on your social media! The blog with the most hits, wins.

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The human body has many diverse mechanisms to maintain high quality cell reproduction. Mutation 1.
The human body has a cell, sometimes, that does not duplicate itself correctly. Mutation 2.
The human body has other cells which can, most often, detect that something is wrong. Mutation 3.
The human body has cells whose sole responsibility is to annihilate a rogue cell. Mutation 4.
The human body has a beautiful system that prioritizes the division of resources to cells. Mutation 5.
The human body has positive and negative feedback loops to maintain perfect equilibrium. Mutation 6.
The human body has safeguards to detect if a cell is using more resources than is fair. Mutation 7.
The human body has 7 distinct defenses to destroy a rogue cell before it becomes cancer. Mutation 8.

It is not mine. It is someone I love. She is my mother.

My world has suddenly become small. My priorities have been simplified. We humans sometimes forget
how good it is until it is not. We never revel in the ability to turn our heads to the left until we wake up with a crick in our neck. We forgot our pride in our country until the towers came down. Often we need a reminder to remember what should be cherished. I will always regret the missed opportunities of the
past; however, I will not let it devour me. I do not believe in the credo that one should live life
without regret. There is no shame in regret, yet there is much shame in not learning from it.

I never truly knew hope. Hope was always bitterly paired with unrequited love. I never truly knew joy. Joy was always a heady, impetuous night of revelry. I never truly knew love. Love was always an ethereal concept with no tangible proof.

I am learning Hope through the optimism of my father. I am learning Joy through incremental improvements in my mother. I am learning Love through the earnest support of my family and friends.

My time with my mother may be short. It may not be. We just don’t know. That is out of my hands and I am learning to accept that. It is not easy to know that I can only control that which is within my own power.

I do not pretend to have any profound message for you, nor do I have any good suggestions on how to live life. Still, if I may offer the one insight that I have gleaned through all of this:

Never miss an opportunity to tell someone you love them. Every day.

The author of this blog post is a personal friend and has chosen to remain anonymous, but still wishes to express some of the personal truths that he has stumbled upon (He is also really hoping to win that free cup of coffee). If this message has touched you, please share it, Like it or comment on it. We’re never alone…and we are ALL loved.

 

Success Versus the Work-Life Balance (Guest Blog by Sam Bessant)

The following blog post is part of the Bennis Blogger Battle. Support Sam by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment and sharing it on your social media! The blog with the most hits, wins.

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In this day and age it is often assumed that one cannot be truly successful at work whilst also being successful in other areas of their life. We hear a lot about work-life balance and in the movies at least, the most successful executives are portrayed as sorely lacking in the social environment. Is this really the case though, and if it is, what can we do about it?

To gain some perspective on the subject, I posed the question to a selection of people I know and the answers that came back were as varied as the people that gave them. They ranged from working for a boss who likes you, having free evenings and turning your work mobile off outside of working hours to loving your work so much that it is your life. It was this last answer that really got me thinking as it’s the one which is most ambiguous. On the one hand, your work being your life might be a great thing if it means that your work flexes to fit into everything that you do. On the other side of the fence, is that top executive whose work is their life as there is no life for the work to flex around.

So how do you know if your work / life ratio is actually balanced? Well, the first thing you need to consider is what “balanced” actually means to you. What are your priorities and how much do you enjoy your work? If your main priority in life is to get to the top then you might be happy to spend 3 times as many hours working in comparison to how many you have for socializing per week. However, if you work merely to pay the bills and dislike your job intensely, you may want to flip that ratio on its head.

Essentially, a work life balance is as unique as the person whose work and life are in question. A true balance comes from within, from the feeling of contentedness that comes with happiness. After all, regardless of personal differences and aspirations, we all only live once; so for most of us the aim is to be happy for as much of that life as possible. My advice to you would be to weigh how much of your life is spent happy vs. how much is spent in discontentment. If you fall on the side of happy the majority of the time, you’ve most likely got your work / life balance right and that may be working 20 hours per week or working 60 hours per week. It’s really not about work vs. life, it’s about happiness and how you balance the elements of your life to achieve it.

Sam Bessant is 26 and lives in Reading, UK. She currently works the standard office 9-6 whilst trying to finalize the direction she will take to start her own business. Sam’s blog, 20somethingfreak was created to help Sam and others understand what it is to be in your 20s and for Sam to share some of the millions of daydreams she has every day! Please support Sam by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment below and visiting her personal blog: www.20somethingfreak.wordpress.com.