Finding Stability In Constant Change

Ask a business owner, entrepreneur or self-employed person to describe the qualities of their chosen career path and I would be shocked to hear them use the word “stable.” Stability is a very desirable perk for any job that simply isn’t in the description of entrepreneurship. This should come as no surprise to those of us who have willingly ventured down this path. We know what we signed up for – and we also know the benefits in which offset the lack of stability. But is it possible for the chaos-embracing entrepreneur to find stability amidst this constant change? Can change be turned into a constant?

I think so.

Each day is wildly different. There is little rhythm to the type of projects I work on day to day and month to month. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because so much of my work is hard to plan for or anticipate, I’ve found stability in creating a schedule for the work I do complete on a weekly or monthly basis. For example, each morning my to-do list always begins with logging on to WordPress and commenting on five other blogs. Every Friday I write my Bennis Inc blog post for the following week. Then of course there is the client work that is regular and reoccurring such as scheduling social media updates or blog writing that gain a place in my work “schedule.” By having a set time carved out in my schedule for this anticipated work, I can then dedicate my remaining time to the unanticipated – and sometimes urgent – projects that always come up. Not only is this good time management, but it gives me a feeling of stability and regularity amidst the ever-changing variety and quantity of my work.

Another way in which I’ve learned to feel stable in a career field that most certainly is not is that I’ve changed the way in which I view contracted work. Each month my work may change, but what won’t change is my ability to seek out new work as I need it. With the skill to hunt you’ll never go hungry. Even as clients come and go, I never run the same risk of having my income go to zero in one day’s time. It would be a slow and gradual process for which I could react and prepare. In other words, I don’t carry the same fear as someone who could be laid off. So while there is stability in a regular income and a bi-weekly paycheck, there is always the risk that it could all come to a halt almost instantly. As a traditional employee, the process of being interviewed, hired and placed on payroll is much longer than signing a new client. And due to contracts, I will always have at least one month’s notice of losing a client rather than only receiving a pink slip and the rest of the day to clear my desk. Realizing this unique benefit of entrepreneurship, I now know stability can be found in the confidence I have to always be able to seek out new clients and more work.

The career path of the self-emplyed is in no way predictable or certain, but if you look in the right places you will find that stability does exist. It may not make for the biggest lifeboat, but it can still help to keep you afloat until you can again find calm waters.

 

Entrepreneurial Survival Mode—The Option to Sink or Swim

Being at the beach in September, the symbolism of the vast ocean before me resonated with the career leap I had taken just two months prior.

I wouldn’t say I question my decision to break off from my former career and become an entrepreneur, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit I do wonder where the “path more traveled” would have led me. In the past months I’ve made a lot of friends who have also given up their careers for a shot at creating something much bigger and have been inspired by their unique stories. In this circle of entrepreneurs, I often find myself to be the youngest with least prior career experience under my belt before I took this same leap. While this could easily cause a soft spot of self-doubt, it has instead solidified my decision because of one unanimous emotion expressed by all of my entrepreneurial friends—not one of them wishes they would have waited longer to go full-time with their business. More often than not, they regret not doing it sooner.

At first I questioned this. Who wouldn’t want to keep a good paying, stable job as you slowly build your business on the side? Once you’re ready to step over, it would seem to be a smooth and painless transition. In hindsight, I’m so glad that I didn’t fall into this trap. Unless you take that leap of faith into the ocean of the unknown, you’ll never have the same intense push to make your business succeed. Your other career will always act as a safety net and protect you from the uncomfortable but necessary feeling of going into survival mode. Once your business is your only means of income, you no longer have that safety net—only the option to sink or swim.

So here I am, paddling like mad. I have no safety net, only a small life jacket of built up savings that could quickly deflate if I’m not careful. But each month as I gain a client, lose a client and breakdown my budget, I know I have only one choice—to make my business a success. I am in entrepreneurial survival mode. The 2 years I maintained Bennis Inc as a side business, I never experienced the same drive and acute business sense as I do now. I was just enjoying the extra income as I sailed wherever the breeze took me. Now that this is my only means of survival, I actively pursue new business, put more time into creating a professional image and learning new skills and tactics to position myself as an expert in my field. There have been months when my head’s been barely above water and there have been months where I felt like an Olympic swimmer. It’s not easy, but if it were, everyone would be doing it.

For all hopeful entrepreneurs out there, I’ll tell you this: take the leap, take it sooner than later. It’s scary and overwhelming, but isn’t that the adrenaline people like us live for? One of my favorite quotes says it the best…

Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won’t, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t.

 

A Month of Independence: A reflection of where one month has led me since my biggest life change

It’s been once month since my blog post Independence Day which received a lot of encouragement and words of wisdom. Having declared July 15^th as my personal independence day has provided me with a date and a benchmark that I will forever be able to look back on and see where one month, one year or ten years has taken me since that life-changing and life-defining moment.

My last memory of leaving my cubicle on July 15th. Even when I was working there, it looked just about the same.

One month ago was my last day of work with the Department of Health. Nothing had really changed for me yet. I was still working a desk job and sitting in the same cubicle I had occupied for the last 6 months. My desk had been completely cleaned since the week prior—in fact I never really moved-in. It’s almost like when you’re renting an apartment and don’t even both to hang photos on the wall because it never quite feels like home. That job wasn’t my career. I must have subconsciously sensed it since day one.

After a wonderful and somewhat sad lunch spent with my co-workers for the last time, my boss told me to take off early. Really, my responsibilities had become irrelevant since my 2-week notice, so I walked out of the Department with the remainder of my desk in a single bag and I feel somewhat cold to admit I didn’t look back. I miss the people I worked with terribly. Even in my short time there, I made a family out of my colleagues. I owe them a visit this week—and really I have no excuse. I live 3 blocks from the Capitol complex where I used to work.

The weeks following that day were a whirlwind to say the least and my blog acts as a journal that reflects the highlights as to what I’ve been through. On July 20^th I immediately picked up and took a week to travel. I spent time in Chicago and Miami visiting cities I had never been to before and for no better reason other than I just didn’t make the time. I knew a week out-of-pocket was going to cause work to pile up when I came home, but nothing could prepare me for what I returned to. I felt out of control, like I was treading water but not nearly fast enough to keep my head above the surface. I wanted to get everything on my to-do list done at once which is neither feasible nor necessary. That amount of stress may have shaved a year or two off my life, but it also led me to write the blog post Strive for Progress, Not Perfection which has become my new mantra and has really helped me to re-center my priorities.

After that week and a half of extreme stress, frustration and doubt, I’ve found my stride. I relied a lot on the people close to me to keep my chin up and work through the confusion and negativity I felt. I’ve added 3 new clients to my business and have a growing list of potentials I’ll be pitching to in the coming weeks and months. It’s a balancing act for sure. I may be my own boss now, but I have to juggle the needs of many different clients and sometimes they seem to pile up all at once. I keep a huge whiteboard that works as a fluid to-do list where I can assign the “must-get-done” tasks to each day and visually, it helps to keep me focused and from becoming overwhelmed. I’m developing a lot of other time structuring tools that help me to maximize my efficiency and believe or not, make some time for non work-related things. But that will have to be a blog post for another day…

If where I am today is any indication of where I’ll be and what I’ll feel 6 months or 6 years from now, I’m ready to embrace each day from now until then. I know it will be a rollercoaster ride with dips of stress and frustration and stomach-tickling highs of progress and pride, but it’s going to be a fun ride for sure.

 

Strive for Progress Not Perfection

Taking the time to hike along Fort Hunter this summer, that was a 'perfect' day.

Somewhere between the extended angle and twisted crescent pose, my yoga instructor said “Strive for progress not perfection.” And I immediately fell in love with the mantra. Before hearing this phrase on Tuesday, I would wake up with an arm’s length list of to-do’s that left me racing against the clock throughout the day and berating myself before bed if I didn’t get them all done. For far too long I defined a perfect day as getting everything done on this ever-growing list. But not anymore. Today I’m striving for progress not perfection. Even if I put only a few checks next to items on my to-do list I’ve had a productive day and should celebrate it. We shouldn’t let what didn’t do each day overshadow what we do accomplish.

This new outlook has also allowed me to be more flexible. Before, I would see everything I had to get done and refuse to budge my schedule. I would turn down meeting a friend for lunch or continue to work all evening, completely missing some great opportunities to be with those I love. I now realize that my goal for working toward that “perfect” day was to gain the free time that I would just continue to fill up with work anyways, I was missing these great moments as they flowed right by me because I was too busy to look up from my to-do list. If you spend your whole life working toward that perfect time to take a vacation or a perfect time to spend an evening with a friend, that time will never come. Instead, find a way to make progress each day and call it “perfect.”

 

When You Don’t Plan Everything, Everything Goes As Planned

I just took my first real vacation for the first time in two years. I’m used to working, or at least having some obligation, every day of the week—even including evenings and weekends.  It wasn’t healthy. Because of this ridiculous schedule, I would plan out everything the night before, from what clothes I would wear to laying out exactly what I needed to pack for breakfast, lunch and dinner (as I would usually be gone from 8am until 11pm…on good days). People who know me can attest to how crazy it is to see someone pre-assemble the ingredients in a coffee mug and lay out a bowl of dry oatmeal so that their Tasmanian Devil routine in the morning wouldn’t be disrupted. From the time I left my bed until the time I returned, every second of my day was planned.

But during these past 8 days, I again went to ledge and jumped off completely. I allowed my schedule to be dictated by no more than what I felt like doing during that exact second. No alarms, no itinerary, nothing. The only thing I had to be on time for was my flights and even they were so horribly delayed and disrupted that I was truly forced to roll with the punches. How did I do? Surprisingly great. I may have approached melt-down mode once, but I blame that on the Chicago heat wave and a 4am taxi ride for a flight that didn’t leave until Noon…more on that below.

This unplanned but completely perfect vacation will remain one of my most memorable travels. Here are some of my highlights from Chicago to Miami:

It wasn’t even 10am and already 105 deg in Chicago. Breakfast ran late and we thought for sure we’d miss the boat tour. As it happens, the boat tour schedule online wasn’t correct and we got there just in time to board.

Having never really visited Chicago before, I thought this statue of Marilyn Monroe was an everyday fixture downtown. Little did I know just a week or so before visiting, this statue was finally unveiled. It is truly quite amazing. Spoiler alert: she’s wearing underwear underneath.

Taking the boat tour of Chicago wasn’t a planned venture. It was something we saw online and thought would be interesting if time allowed. This experience may have single-handedly made the trip. I fell in love with how the city’s tall, hard buildings so boldly contrasted with the smooth, flat water which weaves between them.

Out on Lake Michigan was one of the most serene moments I’ve had in a long time. You can see the hustle and bustle of the city in one direction, but turn around and it’s just you and the calm, blue water.

Catching a game at Wrigley Field wasn’t at all in the plans. We grabbed breakfast, hopped on a city bus (which is a whole other story involving a screaming homeless man) and bought tickets from a stand outside the stadium. A sunny July day spent watching baseball in Wrigley Field–now that’s American.

I’m by no means an experienced traveler and when flying out of one of the largest airports in the U.S. I didn’t know what was ‘normal’ airport volume. But I feel like this is FAR from normal for 6am in O’Hare. Apparently the record-setting rain in Chicago all fell in one night–8” to be exact. No flights were leaving and even the airport staff was delayed in traffic. That morning Chicago had a new attraction, the O’Hare Zoo.

The view of Biscayne Bay from the balcony made the flight delays, endless lines, sleep deprivation and 11 hours of travel completely worth it. Welcome to Miami…

This was the night we did the “touristy” thing and hit Miami Bayside. A great span of shops, bars and restaurants, but the most memorable part of this evening was the culture. Looking at this photo I can still hear the music and see the locals dancing so effortlessly to the rhythm. I think more people were dancing on the street than they were inside the bar. This city is filled with genuine contentment–a souvenir I got to take home.

South Beach, Miami: the place that has inspired songs, bikinis, diets and soft drinks to be created it its honor. Overall, it was like most public beaches I’ve been too–but who doesn’t love a day at the beach? I was never set on having to spend a day here, but a free ride from the hotel and it just seemed to again work out perfectly.

The night we hit South Beach, we got out of the cab and simply started walking. No plan, no schedule. Walking down the entire strip was pretty amazing. All the restaurants were hustling us for our service, but we chose to eat at “Tap Tap” an authentic Haitian restaurant just a few blocks away from the craziness. In hopes of meeting the rapper Pitbull, we grabbed drinks at the staple of South Beach night life: The Clevelander. No such luck on being star struck, but a perfectly unplanned evening yet again.

 

Independence Day

I declare today to be Independence Day—my Independence Day. I’m very aware that I’m 11 days late for when most choose to celebrate this holiday, but this is a little more personal. There’s two ways to look at it, really. I can either be celebrating my last day of working a desk job or my first day of being my own boss. Both are as exciting as they are scary, but since I like focusing on beginnings not endings, let’s go with celebrating the latter.

July 15^th. It’s a date I first set two weeks ago with HR when I decided I was going to take the leap (hopefully not the plunge) to branch off and put my entire heart and soul into my own public relations firm, Bennis Inc. It was an arbitrary date at the time. As per handbook policy, I had to give two weeks notice to leave the Department and remain within good-standing and July 15^th was a payday so I knew I wouldn’t have to wait around for my final pay check. It made sense. For the past two weeks, day by day, it became the light at the end of the tunnel. Some days I felt like there was so much to get done before then that I was being sucked in to a jet propeller. Other days I felt like time simply stopped moving altogether.

No matter what it felt like, it was 14 days, 336 hours, 20160 minutes. In those mere minutes, I grew up by at least seven years. For instance, I set up an IRA account and made my mom the sole beneficiary of my worldly savings (only because she answered the phone before my dad did). I started pounding the pavement, putting myself out there and finally telling people about this business I’ve been building from the ground up since college. I realized I never did declare my independence as an entrepreneur and business owner, though I have been one for almost three years now. I always felt like I had to hide it or refer to it as a “side business” so as not to appear like a conflict of interest with my day job. Well, that all stops today, July 15th. Today, I am officially open—open for business and open to praise, criticism, success and defeat. But it feels great. I feel like I’ve finally woken up and am taking my first deep breath of fresh air. I can’t wait to see where this (independence) day will lead….

 

You Don’t Have to Change Everything—Just the Right Thing

A summer sunset on the riverfront in Harrisburg--I'm lucky to be here!

I can admittedly say that I am going through a mid-life crisis. Okay, a quarter-life crisis. Let’s not get hung up on semantics. In any case, I recently went through the undeniable feeling like I wanted to make a huge change in my life. Not a little “I’ll dye my hair” change—I seriously considered selling everything I own but a suitcase full of clothes, quitting my job, packing up Pinot and moving to Miami. This thought was terrifying but invigorating all at the same time; it provided me with the rush of excitement my life in Harrisburg wasn’t anymore. In hindsight I wasn’t so much craving the geography change (although I would never turn down a vacation to Miami), but it was more a deep desire I had to find my passion again.

When working on the Pennsylvania Governor’s campaign it was hard and thankless work. We were overworked, under paid and stressed out. Often we had to choose between sleeping and drinking and, well, the decision was obvious. But I hit my stride there. It was around August of ’10 that I was busy from the time I woke up until the time I hit my pillow—7 days a week. I felt productive, needed and like the work I was doing actually had an impact. Unfortunately, after returning to normal hours at a job within the Governor’s administration, I lost that stride. I had my evenings and weekends back, but I never did find that passion. I guess I thought that passion moved South and I was hell-bent on doing whatever I had to in order to get it back, even if it meant leaving everyone and everything I knew.

As a result, I turned my back on Harrisburg and closed my mind to the possibility that I could ever be happy here again—for a long time. Within just the past 2 weeks, I made one single decision that changed all of that. I chose to respectfully resign from my day job and pursue my Public Relations business, Bennis Inc, full time. Starting July 15th I’ll be my own boss, set my own schedule, and yes, try to make ends meet off of this less than stable income. It will be stressful, hard and thankless, but it sounds exactly like what I’ve been looking for.

I’m so grateful that I stepped back from the edge long enough to realize I don’t have to jump. I have friends in Harrisburg, family close by and business contacts that would take years to build anywhere else. I’ve kind of fallen in love with the city all over again and am open to making a business here and a home here. So to anyone else who feels like a quarter, mid or full-life crisis may be coming on—take a breath and step back. You don’t always have to change everything, just the right thing to be happy.

 

Radical Wisdom

Some of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received have also helped to form a collection of the most radical and border-line inappropriate quotes I still carry with me. Although at the time, they were taken with humor (and a grain of salt), when applied to less radical and hopefully less offensive scenarios, they offer some solid insight that I think we can all learn from.

Never limit your options.
This one was born on the Governor’s campaign and quickly caught on among my co-workers as what they felt should be my life motto. I think at one point it was even printed on a piece of paper and stuck to the wall above our desks. That same piece of paper made its way across the state where the plan was to tape it to my hotel room door on election night. Luckily, the victory celebration took precedence over the prank. This quote was originally intended to be applied more toward my “social” life than my professional life, but I can now see how it is a guideline for both. Especially in your career—never limit your options! Say yes, try it out, take it on. Overload your plate until you find what you like the best then knock off the less desirable projects or the projects that aren’t paying out. I would never be where I am today if I limited my options. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t like everything I’ve tried, but I wasn’t afraid to move on and seek out what I did.

Respect the real estate.
Give me a chance to explain. Actually–I’ll just leave it at: in the business of cocktail waitressing, your ability to take drink orders isn’t what earns you tips. And while some are more “skilled” than others at this job, our manager would always say “Respect the real estate.” This of course was hilarious at the time, but has since turned into a little pearl of wisdom that I wish more people took to heart. The obvious translation is to respect yourself, your body, etc. But I find it more inspirational when I think about respecting my skills and talents. True confidence is formed by respecting what you’re good at and being proud of it. So find what you’re good at and own it! After all, it is YOUR real estate.

If you want to throw a party, you’ve got to pay the band.
This is the most recent addition to my collection and it came from my boss one night at a lobbyists’ reception. We were all getting our money’s worth at the open bar and I joked that I didn’t think we’d make it in to work the next day by 9am. His response was “If you want to throw a party, you’ve got to pay the band.” Now there was no band at this particular reception, so I laughed when I understood what he was really getting at. How simple, but how true. It doesn’t matter what you want to do—have another cocktail, go on vacation, start your own business—you have to earn it or pay for it in some way. I’ve thrown some great “parties” in the past several years, but looking back I did always pay the band—often in full and upfront. Needless to say, the morning after the lobbyists’ reception, I was at my desk at exactly 8:33am.

I can’t be the only one…what radical ideas have you turned into relevant wisdom?

 

Home Work

My cat, Pinot, made a less than productive co-worker.

As many of you may know by now, in addition to BennisInc I also spend my days working for the Pennsylvania Department of Health, Legislative Affairs. This requires me to commute a whole three blocks to the Capitol Complex where I work in a small cubicle without windows from 8:30am-5pm, Monday through Friday (try to contain your jealousy). While sitting in my hamster wheel, I often wonder how I would handle the coveted privilege of being able to work from home.

Well, the Work-From-Home Fairy must have heard my wish.

Due to 2 water lines breaking near the Capitol, I’ve been granted two days to try out the whole “Home Working” concept. I’ve gotten to work at my leisure, rotating between multiple clients’ work, Real Housewives of New Jersey reruns, cleaning, laundry and even a little Facebook. But I’ve gotten more done in 4 hours than I would have all day at the office. Maybe it’s the motivation to prove everyone wrong who says you can’t get work done from home or maybe it was the motivation for a nap and walk along the river once I met certain work goals, but no matter what it was…it was AWESOME.

I could certainly get used to this schedule. I still wake up early, set unreasonably ambitious work goals for the day and to my surprise, get most of them accomplished, but during the small breaks that everyone needs I can throw in a load of laundry, go for a run or meet a friend for coffee. I’m not bound to a desk.

I’ve heard this similar sentiment repeated from nearly all my friends who own their own business–When you work for yourself, YOU get to choose the 70 hours a week you work. I agree. I went from 8am through 9pm each day working on a variety of projects. But I didn’t work those 13 hours straight. I got personal things done throughout that time and when I felt like I needed a break, I could take it at my leisure. When I came back to it, I had a clear mind and produced better quality work as a result.

Working from home certainly takes dedication and self-control, but I can handle it. And if it provides me a life spent outside a hamster wheel, I can have my cedar chips packed in a matter of minutes.