Special Post: Re-Living The Wedding Of Our Dreams

It’s not often that I delve too deep into my personal life on my blog, but as many of you may recall I’ve shared several key moments of my engagement and wedding that both took place in 2012. The profound impact these milestones have had on my life was simply too big not to share with you in some way. And so I want to now share with you the full story of my happy ending. The story of how I met Scott, his creative engagement and our fairytale wedding were all beautifully captured by the talented Dream Weddings TV crew and aired live on our NBC affiliate on Sunday, February 10, 2013. Words alone can’t express how grateful we are to our vendors and generous family and friends who all shared a role in making this possible for us. And as for all the creative details and special touches, I’ll let the video tell the story!

Whether you’re also planning a wedding or are just looking for some creative inspiration, please check out these wonderful businesses and individuals who helped to create our beautiful day!

Baldy Beard Brew – Signature beer creation, “The Dirty Shirley”

This nano-brewery is the next big thing to hit beer! Not only do they create a delicious product, they deliver it with a big dose of personality and humor. We had a great time getting to know the Baldy Beard guys as we brewed our own beer for our wedding. And now I’d love to help them reach their dream of opening their own brewery in York, PA–consider supporting their Kick Starter Campaign here! #DrinkWithFriends

CARMINA-CRISTINA Professional Makeup – Bridal makeup

A fabulous friend and an even more fabulous professional makeup artist! Carmina created a wedding look for me that I could have only dreamed of. And with the rain–her expert products and techniques were a day-saver. Her international background and training really shines through her work. I still use her products and techniques almost daily.

Dennis Baker Photography – Engagement and wedding photography

The day’s rain made no easy task of capturing the stunning wedding photos that Dennis did. It takes a truly talented professional to work under such extreme circumstances, organize a wedding party of almost 20 people and keep posed photos to just an hour. Not more than a day after we said “I do” our wedding photos were already uploaded and ready for viewing!

Dream Weddings – Filming and TV production

We feel truly lucky to have had the opportunity to work with the Dream Weddings TV crew. They were just as excited about our love story and our wedding plans as we were and their enthusiasm helped to make the whole planning experience that much more special. Be sure to check out their site where you can watch episodes from all their seasons! Also–a big shout out goes to host Martine Cajas who also runs House of Clarendon, the premiere cakery based in Lancaster, PA

Flowers by JDK – Wedding flowers

The professionals at JDK rose to the challenge of a tight floral budget and a big wedding! All we gave them was a color scheme and described the feel of our wedding and they did the rest to be sure our bouquets, centerpieces and accents were anything but expected or ordinary!

Hess Tent Rentals – Tent and dance floor rentals

When you’re planning an outdoor August wedding, you have to plan for heat and rain (and we experienced both in extremes). This is why we were so lucky to have a huge tent big enough to accommodate “Plan B” and the professionals of Hess Tent Rentals to work with us up to the last minute to see that we were covered–literally.

JoS A. Bank – Groomsmen suits

Among the most common groomsman complaint for a wedding is spending a good amount of money on renting a tux that you’ll never see or get to use again. With the help of a very generous contact at the JoS A. Bank store in State College, PA, we were able to get our groomsmen (and almost every man in our families) a top of the line suit for under the price of a tux rental. It’s worth thinking outside the box here! Though I may not get to wear my wedding dress at any upcoming occasion I can think of, Scott has gotten a ton of use out of his wedding suit in just the past 6 months.

Lavon Films – Wedding videography

Derek and his crew put some major hours into our wedding filming and editing. The pressure of capturing every intimate moment from a wedding is a lot to manage, but they made it look like it’s what they were born to do (and maybe because it is)! Thrown into the midst of tears, rain and last minute changes in plans – they somehow turned this footage into only peaceful and happy memories on film!

MixedUp Productions – Wedding ceremony and reception music

There’s no doubt that music can make or break the mood of any event – and for a wedding the stakes are even higher. Damian from MixedUp Productions rose to the occasion with a perfect blend of music to match our ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner and dancing late into the night. Owner, Mike Miller also made a guest appearance at the end to add a very personal touch!

Mountz Jewelers – Engagement and wedding rings

I won’t deny that when I get a particular vision for what I want, it’s hard to settle for anything else. Lucky for me (and especially Scott) we had the perfect hometown jeweler to meet our every request. From a custom built engagement ring where Scott got to hand-select the diamond, to a one-of-a-kind wedding band designed to perfectly match it’s unique shape–Mountz provided our sparkle.

Salon Evolve – Bridal hair

You can’t beat the convenience of a salon that’s located within walking distance from your front door. But more than location made this the perfect fit for our wedding party. Owner, Dana met our every (even last minute) request and his stylists quickly and beautifully styled our hair to exact specifications. There was no stress, no drama and more than enough time to even enjoy some wine before the ceremony!

7 Layer Designs – Custom created wedding invitations

Owner, Jess is one talented lady! She had no problem offering me a ton of options for custom-designed wedding invitations that were anything but “out of the box.” I wanted the invites to match our style, our wedding colors and to stay within a tight budget. Jess hand-stamped, cut and folded nearly 200 invites and helped me get them out well before the 6-week time frame (even with wax sealing involved)!

Tara’s Bridal – Wedding dress

My wedding dress buying experience would have been very different had I not been recommended to Tara’s Bridal shop in Camp Hill, PA. They only sell samples and there’s usually just one of each dress, so unique and couture is their specialty. But what really made my first dress stop also my last, was that the prices start as low as $300 – making high-quality wedding dresses extremely accessible for every bride and budget. I don’t want to think about what I would have paid elsewhere for a much lesser dress…

The Harrisburg Senators – Rehearsal dinner reception

As we mentioned in the Dream Wedding video, so much of our wedding was about relationships. Scott’s special relationship with the Harrisburg Senators baseball team allowed us a very unique rehearsal dinner where we rented a suite in the stadium. Guests enjoyed some upscale ballpark food, baseball, fireworks and Scott throwing out the first pitch!

Weddings by JDK – Food, rentals and event coordination

Amanda and Steve with JDK were our heaven-sent helpers who worked tirelessly to create our dream wedding while staying within our very real budget. It helps when your friends are also talented professionals who work for the premiere catering/wedding company in Harrisburg! JDK handled everything from design, event rentals, menu creation and flower coordination to day-of event set-up and all the clean-up afterward. Let’s just say it takes a dedicated army to pull off that type of work!

Weddings by Paul V – Engagement photography

Paul is an extremely talented photographer based in the Harrisburg, PA area. His work is found in a ton of trendy publications and he can also be found snapping shots of downtown night life on the weekends. We were so lucky to have Paul’s talent capture the exact setting of our engagement at 4 different locations along the riverfront of Harrisburg.

 

Twas The Day Before Christmas…

Twas The Day Before Christmas

(As retold by an entrepreneur)

Twas the day before Christmas, when all through the house
not a computer was turned on, not even a mouse.
Their cords were wrapped up in the corner with care,
in hopes that I had strength to leave them there.

Miss Pinot was nestled all snug in her bed,
while visions of toy mice danced in her head.
For once taking a cue from my sleepy, gray cat,
I settled my brain for a short winter’s nap.

Is it possible to tune out all of the clatter,
to focus on Christmas and what truly mattered?
No doubt it would feel different to completely unwind,
what’s the worst that could happen, we’d have a good time?

So from now until New Years, the blog posts can wait
there are loved ones to hug and cookies to bake.
This short disconnect will help creativity to soar
and inspire me to write better than ever before!

Until then, don’t worry what to do with your time,
make your own holidays relaxing as I’ve done mine.
Here’s my final wish before the exit I make,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a short break!”

 

One Cell, One Lesson (Guest Blog by A Dear Friend)

The following blog post is part of the Bennis Blogger Battle. Support the author by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment and sharing it on your social media! The blog with the most hits, wins.

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The human body has many diverse mechanisms to maintain high quality cell reproduction. Mutation 1.
The human body has a cell, sometimes, that does not duplicate itself correctly. Mutation 2.
The human body has other cells which can, most often, detect that something is wrong. Mutation 3.
The human body has cells whose sole responsibility is to annihilate a rogue cell. Mutation 4.
The human body has a beautiful system that prioritizes the division of resources to cells. Mutation 5.
The human body has positive and negative feedback loops to maintain perfect equilibrium. Mutation 6.
The human body has safeguards to detect if a cell is using more resources than is fair. Mutation 7.
The human body has 7 distinct defenses to destroy a rogue cell before it becomes cancer. Mutation 8.

It is not mine. It is someone I love. She is my mother.

My world has suddenly become small. My priorities have been simplified. We humans sometimes forget
how good it is until it is not. We never revel in the ability to turn our heads to the left until we wake up with a crick in our neck. We forgot our pride in our country until the towers came down. Often we need a reminder to remember what should be cherished. I will always regret the missed opportunities of the
past; however, I will not let it devour me. I do not believe in the credo that one should live life
without regret. There is no shame in regret, yet there is much shame in not learning from it.

I never truly knew hope. Hope was always bitterly paired with unrequited love. I never truly knew joy. Joy was always a heady, impetuous night of revelry. I never truly knew love. Love was always an ethereal concept with no tangible proof.

I am learning Hope through the optimism of my father. I am learning Joy through incremental improvements in my mother. I am learning Love through the earnest support of my family and friends.

My time with my mother may be short. It may not be. We just don’t know. That is out of my hands and I am learning to accept that. It is not easy to know that I can only control that which is within my own power.

I do not pretend to have any profound message for you, nor do I have any good suggestions on how to live life. Still, if I may offer the one insight that I have gleaned through all of this:

Never miss an opportunity to tell someone you love them. Every day.

The author of this blog post is a personal friend and has chosen to remain anonymous, but still wishes to express some of the personal truths that he has stumbled upon (He is also really hoping to win that free cup of coffee). If this message has touched you, please share it, Like it or comment on it. We’re never alone…and we are ALL loved.

 

Success Versus the Work-Life Balance (Guest Blog by Sam Bessant)

The following blog post is part of the Bennis Blogger Battle. Support Sam by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment and sharing it on your social media! The blog with the most hits, wins.

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In this day and age it is often assumed that one cannot be truly successful at work whilst also being successful in other areas of their life. We hear a lot about work-life balance and in the movies at least, the most successful executives are portrayed as sorely lacking in the social environment. Is this really the case though, and if it is, what can we do about it?

To gain some perspective on the subject, I posed the question to a selection of people I know and the answers that came back were as varied as the people that gave them. They ranged from working for a boss who likes you, having free evenings and turning your work mobile off outside of working hours to loving your work so much that it is your life. It was this last answer that really got me thinking as it’s the one which is most ambiguous. On the one hand, your work being your life might be a great thing if it means that your work flexes to fit into everything that you do. On the other side of the fence, is that top executive whose work is their life as there is no life for the work to flex around.

So how do you know if your work / life ratio is actually balanced? Well, the first thing you need to consider is what “balanced” actually means to you. What are your priorities and how much do you enjoy your work? If your main priority in life is to get to the top then you might be happy to spend 3 times as many hours working in comparison to how many you have for socializing per week. However, if you work merely to pay the bills and dislike your job intensely, you may want to flip that ratio on its head.

Essentially, a work life balance is as unique as the person whose work and life are in question. A true balance comes from within, from the feeling of contentedness that comes with happiness. After all, regardless of personal differences and aspirations, we all only live once; so for most of us the aim is to be happy for as much of that life as possible. My advice to you would be to weigh how much of your life is spent happy vs. how much is spent in discontentment. If you fall on the side of happy the majority of the time, you’ve most likely got your work / life balance right and that may be working 20 hours per week or working 60 hours per week. It’s really not about work vs. life, it’s about happiness and how you balance the elements of your life to achieve it.

Sam Bessant is 26 and lives in Reading, UK. She currently works the standard office 9-6 whilst trying to finalize the direction she will take to start her own business. Sam’s blog, 20somethingfreak was created to help Sam and others understand what it is to be in your 20s and for Sam to share some of the millions of daydreams she has every day! Please support Sam by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment below and visiting her personal blog: www.20somethingfreak.wordpress.com.

 

Quarter Life Crisis As An Indicator of Differentiation (Guest Blog by Todd Shirley)

The following blog post is part of the Bennis Blogger Battle. Support Todd by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment and sharing it on your social media! The blog with the most hits, wins. (I should also mention that Wednesday March 7th is his birthday–so be sure to give him some extra love!)

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While presenting a workshop and working late, a close friend from childhood sent me an email that hinted at the hidden influence his loved ones continue to have over his career decisions.  While reading it,  I felt confused at how such an independent soul could be stuck in an unsatisfying career.

As a self proclaimed “counselor nerd”, who loves both of his jobs, I felt the best way to understand his predicament was to think of it in terms of a continuum (counselor nerds love continuums). At one end of this continuum sits enmeshment- the process of moving close to an individual or group. At the other end sits differentiation- the process of recognizing you are separate from others and their expectations. People cycle through periods of enmeshment and differentiation throughout their lives.  It’s also possible to experience them simultaneously in a paradox that is always difficult. Career development is the stage for which this paradox plays out in two dramatic ways.

This paradox manifests in an ugly manner when people take a prescribed path while recognizing they resent doing so. Ever hear of a mid-life crisis? People who don’t untangle this manifestation of the paradox at their quarter life crisis end up with a mid life crisis.

The other manifestation of this paradox is much prettier.  I’ve seen it play out with loved ones when they moved across the country to take a new job despite a dramatic drop in salary and prestige. Their career shifts were expressions of being differentiated from outside influences. This prevents the mid life crisis.

My friend’s email outlined themes regarding going through the motions of work and his reservations about pursuing a line of work he wants. With the continuum above, his job struggle is clearly linked to a familiar identity struggle. There are some points I’ll quote in an effort to illustrate his concerns in the context of our friendship:

1. Money will always be of concern to me. The last thing I want is to burden my friends and family because I am broke and can’t make it.
Reading it took me back to a difficult two year chapter in my own life.  My wife and I were differentiating from each other. I was intensely afraid that our inevitable split would burden my family.  Through hours of conversation- where he was sincere and genuine- he helped show me I’d be OK and my family would too. If he’s broke, I could care less.  He and I have had great times in our adult lives without money.

2. What monumental thing have I accomplished while unemployed?

The time unemployed he references in this rhetorical question was a period of 5 weeks. He was looking for work because he had to move due to his wife’s career. His self consciousness overshadows his hard work.  He ran his first marathon in under three hours and thirty minutes. Built an amazing desk. AND found a job with improved pay and working conditions over his last one. If those three things aren’t monumental, I’m not sure what is…. I don’t think I’ve done anything like that in the last year while employed.

In times past, he’s proven himself to put time in at a job he hates to pursue new heights. This time for him is no different from any other identity struggle he’s pulled through in the past.  His loved ones are waiting for him to make his move…

Todd Shirley works a full time as a school counselor and carries a caseload of clients who are in the foster care system. When he is not working, he is reading, working out, cooking paleo and discussing all that is arbitrary about life. Oh-and his favorite animal is the manatee. Please support Todd by “Liking” this post or by leaving a comment below!

Oh–and HAPPY BIRTHDAY Todd!

 

Why Success Is More Likely If You Love What You Do (Guest Blog by Rory Alexander)

The following blog post is part of the Bennis Blogger Battle. Support Rory by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment and sharing it on your social media! The blog with the most hits, wins.

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Chinese Character for Success

I have done a lot of things up to this point in my life and only now am I realizing the importance of this statement. “Success is more likely if you love what you do.” I studied economics, then marketing, worked in advertising and moved into print production before packing my bags and moving to China. I taught English for a year and signed on for a second, after which I took all my savings and traveled before returning to South Africa to see what opportunities arose.

I have tried several careers but never loved what I’ve done. It’s been employment and it’s paid the bills but it has left me unfulfilled. It’s not that I haven’t succeeded, but I keep feeling like I can do more. Things are uncertain now as I make the transition from being unemployed to being a freelancer but now I am doing what I love and so this time it’s going to be different. Or at least that’s what I hope.

Sure, you don’t have to love what you do in order to succeed. We probably all know people who don’t enjoy their jobs but drive nice cars and live in fancy houses. So then I guess it’s how you define success. I’d like to think success in life is about being happy. So fast cars and fancy houses might look good and feel comfortable but do they make people happy? I am aware that this could turn into a protracted philosophical argument so let’s consider this hypothetical situation.

If a zoo wants someone to photograph all their animals for a set fee and two people take up the challenge – one who is just after the money and one who loves photography. The one that is just after the money might take a compact digital camera and in the space of an afternoon take a photo of each and every animal in the zoo and hand over a disc to the zoo.

The one who loves photography would probably use a decent camera; take time watching each animal waiting for the best opportunity to take a photo; perhaps arranging to get inside the enclosures of the less dangerous animals and getting some unusual angles. They would probably shoot in the early morning and late afternoons for the best natural light. They may even go the extra mile because they love what they do and produce a printed book of all the photos to hand over to the zoo.

In this example, both people have done what the job required, they both completed the task but who do you think is more of a success? Who would the zoo be more likely to pay? I think it’s obvious that if you love what you do, you will spend more time doing it and the end result will be better than the same thing done by someone who doesn’t love what they do. Imagine what the world would be like if, in our jobs and careers, we all did what we loved.

While loving what you do is no guarantee of success, I believe that at the very least it increases your chances. And to me, the opportunity to following your passion is always a chance worth taking…

After 3.5 years in advertising, Rory Alexander decided to try something completely different and went to teach English in China for 2 years. Now he’s back in South Africa with an open mind looking for opportunities and following his passions which include aviation, photography and blogging. Please support Rory by “Liking” this post, leaving a comment below and visiting his personal blog: www.roryinsouthafrica.wordpress.com. You can also find him on twitter @Rory_Alexander.

 

A New Kind of Valentine’s Day

Before I get right in to this week’s blog post, I wanted to first thank you for showing such interest and support for the Bennis Blog Battle! This is going to be a really fun, ongoing series of guest blogging and I can’t wait to read what you’re working on. Everyone is invited to join in, so please read through the details, pull open a new word doc and get writing!

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Now as a full blown weekly blogger (whether I’ll own up to it or not), I’m more aware than ever as a new week approaches because it means making time to sit down and write. This is a habit I’m happy to have, but it’s brought to my attention that time truly does fly by and life happens whether you’re watching or not. I feel like I’ve just gotten settled from the holidays and New Year and already tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. I’m sure many of you can relate when I say that Valentine’s Day, out of all holidays, brings an added element of stress and anxiety for most of us. It’s not a holiday that earns us a day off work, it inconveniently falls on whatever day of the week it chooses and accidentally wishing someone a Happy Valentine’s Day when they’re single or recently broken-hearted is more embarrassing than wishing a Jewish person Merry Christmas.

Why is this? How does one little holiday centered on the celebration of love develop such a crowd of haters? Sure, it does slightly feel like an illegitimate holiday because of the consumerism and hype that often comes with it. But in the dreary depths of winter, a day dedicated to expressing the warmth of love sounds pretty nice—and I’m not just saying that because Hallmark told me to. I have an idea for this Valentine’s Day that we can all try out and it doesn’t involve agonizing over a card, waiting in line at a crowded restaurant or throwing a pity party for your singleness. I believe Valentine’s Day has much more opportunity than any of this stuff. If we allow it, it can be a great reminder that love is a power we all possess and if we express it together, the world can be a pretty amazing place for a day…a week…a year.

Imagine tomorrow, if we carry some extra love in our hearts—we might leave the house for work happy to be alive not angry to be in a rush. We might give someone a compliment that they will carry with them for years after. We might take some extra time out of our day to help a co-worker with a project just as they’re on the verge of giving up. And we might repair a lost friendship with an overdue, but much needed, phone call. You see, Valentine’s Day can be about so much more than romance and roses—it can about be demonstrating genuine kindness and living a day entirely “in love” with life.

Tomorrow is really nothing special, it’s just another day. But it can serve as a great starting point for us to be a little kinder and a little more appreciative of the loving relationships we have all around us.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

With This Ring

On Saturday, January 14^th my life changed forever. The man that has been my best friend, business advisor and better half, Scott Shirley, asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. And without a breath of hesitation, I said yes! Every day since then it’s felt like Christmas, waking up to the best present I could ask for—a lifetime with my soul mate. Because I openly share so much about my life with my blogging friends and followers each week, it’s only natural that I would also share the excitement of my engagement with you as well.

As I tend to do with every milestone in my life, I reflect deeply upon what this symbolizes. And this one is quite special. The ring on my left hand symbolizes a promise and a vow that I take very seriously. It’s a vow that will witness the passing of decades and the birth of new generations. As it sparkles and shines with barely a week of age, I’m brought back to the memory of my mother’s diamond ring. Her ring has been worn and tarnished by life’s most precious and beautiful moments. It’s a ring that I’ve known ever since I was a child and can’t possibly imagine her without. Close in age to my mother when she first received hers, I imagine what precious moments of my own life will be witnessed by this ring.

This ring will wrap around my father’s arm as he walks me down the aisle this August. It will take my husband’s hand for the first time as we say our vows and turn the key to our first house. This ring will rock babies to sleep and change countless diapers over the years. It will cook, clean, fold and work hard. It will fit perfectly into my husband’s hand as we walk and lay softly on his chest as we fall asleep. It will clap for joy in the happiest of moments and wipe away tears during the saddest.  It will witness graduations, marriages and grandchildren. And finally, when this ring outlives my own life, it will be passed on to my children to forever remember the beauty of our love and the life which it created.

It’s difficult to comprehend the amount of memories this ring will record. While its sparkle may never be able to show me my future or my past, it will always be there to serve as a reminder that life is precious and love is truly spectacular.