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Would You Ask a Man That Question?

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A real life snapshot from my life as a work-from-home mom

A few weeks ago I was asked a question that I initially didn’t hesitate to answer. It’s actually a question I’ve been asked on more than one occasion, so I felt prepared to defend myself with an explanation. The question was, “How do you plan to balance work with a family?”

It’s not an unreasonable question, right? It was asked in a light-hearted way by a new client who, I truly believe, felt like they were going through any normal paces of qualifying someone to be their new PR consultant. The board voted unanimously in my favor and I ultimately got the job. Sometime later, a female colleague of mine, who was also at that meeting, brought up her frustration that I had to answer such a “ridiculous” question. She picked up on the (not so subtle) sexism of that question that I’ve come to view as normal as a female business owner and working mom. Her point was clear. Would you ask a man that question? No, no you wouldn’t.

Picture a man being asked “How do you plan to balance work with a family?” during a job interview. I envision a bewildered look come across his face as he responds “What do you mean?” He would likely ask for clarification before he felt compelled to offer an explanation…an excuse, really. Meanwhile, I had my “excuse” locked and loaded because it’s one I’ve had to provide time and time again. Sometimes I even voluntarily offer it up as I can see the look of concern come across a client’s face when they learn I have two young children, one of whom stays at home with me 5 out of the 7 days of the week.

“When do you have time to do work?”

That’s another common question. I used to be proud to answer this with a description of my highly disciplined and efficient schedule that is required for raising a family, keeping up with the house and growing a business. But now I see that I was defending myself from society’s disbelief that I can be a mother and a business owner – and do both well.

I’m not angry or outraged at these questions. I hold no grudge against the people who asked them. Rather, I’m shocked by my own numbness toward sexist remarks made to women entrepreneurs daily. I’m sad that I allowed myself to feel guilty, even for just one second, for “balancing work and a family.”

It is without question that a woman most often gets the lion’s share of work and responsibility when it comes to raising a family. Rather than questioning her ability to work and parent, congratulate her, offer encouragement and be flexible with your demands.

How refreshing would it be to instead hear “I know you have a young family. It’s wonderful you’re pursuing your passion. We will flexible, as we know family comes first.”

I’m fortunate to work with understanding and encouraging clients who not only know I am a hybrid mom, but see it as a badge of honor. They know when they call me there’s always a chance you’ll hear a babbling baby in the background or that I may need to reschedule a meeting because I’ve got a sick toddler. But as a mother, I also know how to power through a challenge and multi-task like it’s an Olympic sport. If you want something done, give it to a busy person. And if you want something done quickly, correctly and with every distraction going on around her, give it to a mom.

Have you ever been asked a sexist or unfair question? Share how you responded, or wish you had responded by leaving a comment!

 
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Posted by on February 13, 2017 in Business & Success, Life

 

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The 4 Most Powerful Words You Can Ask Someone

The first Monday of each month, I dust off a favorite post from the Bennis Inc Blog archives and give you another chance to enjoy the wit and wisdom that’s been shared. Enjoy this month’s treasure – and if it inspires you – be sure to share it with family and friends!


The 4 Most Powerful Words You Can Ask Someone

Both in life and in business, we experience individual struggles that cause us stress, frustration, anger, embarrassment and overall contribute to one of those “really bad days.” What’s worse is that because these struggles are uniquely our own, we often feel like we are completely alone when it comes to overcoming them.

Feeling the need to internalize our bad days and the challenges they bring only feed the unhealthy cycle in which we forget to reach out to other people who appear to have hit a road bump. This brings me to the grand reveal of the four most powerful words we can ask someone today. And that is….

“How can I help?”

It’s deceptively simple and so obvious that it seems silly. When we see someone struggling or upset, we should ask how we can help. But, do we? I’ll be the first to admit I do not – at least not as often as I should. In 2015 I want that to change. I want to inspire you to also take the lead in transforming us back into a society who takes an interest in the health and well being of the people around us– not just an interest in their latest status update. Here is why this simple question is so powerful.

It forces us to let our guard down.

I know when I’m having a stressful day where I feel like my to-do list is a mile long and getting longer, I am too proud and too overwhelmed to stop and think of how someone else might help to lessen the load. From experience, when someone asks me “How can I help?” it’s such a welcome relief and feels just as good as a comforting hug.

I used to blow off this question because only I could perform many of my work related to-do’s, but I have since learned to think outside the box and find ways (like household chores, running an errand or offering a few hours of childcare) that people can help out regardless of their skill set or expertise.

It gives us a support system.

Asking this question is the most meaningful way in which you can express to someone that you’re there for them. It’s putting your money where your mouth is and actually offering to do something rather than simply saying “I’m here if you need something.”

No, take the initiative to ask someone what it is they need. By asking, not telling, you’re ready to assume the risk that they could need you to do something time consuming or undesirable. But it also makes us feel like we have a partner in all of this mess – and sometimes that is the only thing we really need.

It’s not condescending or judgmental.

The question “How can I help?” is simple, but perfectly phrased. Compare it to “Do you need help?” This variation can come across like a judgment that the person needs help for whatever it is they are going through. Give them the immediate acceptance of acknowledging it’s okay to need help and skip right to offering your hand. Especially if it’s an issue of pride, you won’t help the situation by first making them admit to needing help.

It eliminates our excuse to act like a martyr.

Most importantly, being asked “How can I help?” eliminates the temptation for us to feel sorry for ourselves and muddle in our own misery. Having someone standing in front of us with a hand to lift us up is the best way to make us grab a hold of our boot straps and pull them up high. Sometime we enjoy playing the martyr as a defense mechanism or because we want a reason to complain. This is neither healthy nor going to help us break the “bad day” cycle. Being asked “What can I do to help?” is a powerful way to make us stop feeling all alone and like no one cares – because someone does!

Who is someone you should ask “How can I help?” Reach out to them today and say these 4 simple words. Then share how the answer and the actions that resulted changed both of your lives!

 
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Posted by on February 6, 2017 in Business & Success, Life

 

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Building a Network: Working from Home Doesn’t Mean Working Alone (Contribution from freelance writer Jenny Holt)

The following post comes to us from Jenny Holt, who left her HR career behind to pursue freelance writing and to spend more time with her young daughters at home. This article is based upon her own entrepreneurial journey and balancing family and work.


Building a Network: Working from Home Doesn’t Mean Working Alone

The flexibility of working from home appeals to many people and is a great way to fit your job around your lifestyle. However, it can be isolating and difficult without a group of colleagues immediately on hand. Luckily, it’s easy to get out there and make connections.

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Shared Office Space

You will be able to find office rental space in almost every city, with options to suit every budget. You get a desk, Wi-Fi, coffee; all the essentials – but most importantly, colleagues right on hand to problem-solve, brainstorm, and connect with. Even if they don’t work in your specific industry, they will have transferable experience and broad networks of their own which you can plug into and take advantage of.

Social Media and Networking

If physically sharing office space isn’t for you, then it’s time to get active on social media. Social media is great for building your brand’s image and engaging with customers, but it is equally useful for making vital connections with peers in your own industry. Social media isn’t just for youngsters, it can be useful for all generations who are setting up in business. Create profiles on platforms such as LinkedIn and Twitter to find other people in your field, search out possible mentors, and follow businesses and organizations with which you might want to work. Search for groups and forums, but don’t be afraid to also approach people individually. A personal touch can really make the difference!

Conferences and industry events

Keep tabs on what the big events are each year in your industry, and make time to attend them. Research ahead of time what talks, events, or trade stands are offered, and set up some meetings if you can. This will make sure your visit is worthwhile, and that you don’t end up browsing at random with nothing to show for it when you go home. Don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation and be sure to talk to everyone you can, exchange contact details, and then follow up when you get back home. A little effort goes a long way.

Take every opportunity

It’s important not to limit yourself to your own specific area of business. Other industries will need your skills and expertise, and at some point you’ll find yourself in need of something they can provide, especially with a growing business. For tasks like accountancy and tax returns, it’s easier and more efficient to use specialists rather than struggling yourself. If you have busy periods, you might need to bring in temporary workers to make sure everything is completed on time. Already having a great network means you have every situation covered!

Do you work from home? How do you actively build a network of fellow business owners and vendors? Share your thoughts by commenting below. 

 
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Posted by on January 30, 2017 in Business & Success, Life

 

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11 Habits of Highly Efficient People

11-habits-of-highly-efficient-peopleThere are a ton of cheesy memes and inspirational quotes out there that allude to this one truth – we all have the same 24 hours in a day. So why then does it feel like some people can accomplish so much more with their time while others are spinning their wheels? If you believe yourself to be a highly efficient person and find you get annoyed with a friend or co-worker who would take a week to get done what you accomplish in a day, remember this. Everyone has a different threshold for stress and some people are simply wired to be inefficient.

On the flip side, if you find yourself struggling to keep up with a normal workload while that one friend seems to do it all and make it look effortless, keep this in mind. They have likely learned, and continue to practice the habits of highly efficient people.

Some people thrive off of the feeling of getting things done and are actually stressed out by idling while work piles up. Whether you can or can’t relate, take a look at these 11 habits to gain insight into the world of a highly efficient person!

11 Habits of Highly Efficient People

They accurately estimate the time required to complete a task. Highly efficient people are realistic about how long it will take to accomplish something, whether that’s washing the dishes or taking a client phone call. Inefficient people often underestimate the time required for a task and find themselves overextended and with a time deficit day after day.

They block-schedule their activities. These people don’t multi-task. It’s not efficient. Rather they block schedule their time for a single activity, get it done and then move onto the next task.

They keep a running mental to-do list. Highly efficient people always know what they must accomplish on any given day to stay ahead of their task list. Should some unexpected free time arise, they can identify the right task to fit into that time slot to knock it off ahead of schedule. They don’t waste 5 minutes here and 10 minutes there, because at the end of the day that really adds up!

They minimize distraction. Highly efficient people work in a bubble, in a good way. They “wire in” to their work and mute other distractions like cell phones, TV’s and multiple browser windows. They also avoid that co-worker small talk at all costs!

They keep to a schedule. These people have their routine down pat. While each day might be slightly different, it follows the same format. They may even wear similar clothes or eat similar foods throughout the work week to streamline things and minimize unimportant decisions.

They don’t aim for perfection. Highly efficient people don’t care about making things “perfect” because it’s not efficient, nor it is attainable. Rather, they aim for the point of diminishing return where any more time spent on a task won’t make a noticeable difference. They don’t deliver sub-par work, but they also don’t stress about everything they produce being a masterpiece. Often “good enough” is quite alright.

They only invest time in people or activities that they find fulfilling. These people refuse to waste time with people they don’t enjoy, doing things they don’t enjoy. They limit their social circles to people they truly care about and rarely do something out of guilt or obligation. If a highly efficient person wants to hang out, take that as a high compliment!

They go to bed early. Highly efficient people don’t gain more hours in their day by sleeping less. On the contrary, they likely sleep more than an inefficient person. Let’s be honest, no one is their most efficient late at night. This only produces low-quality work that likely needs revamping the next day, compounded by a groggy person who doesn’t have the energy to put forth their best effort. Go to bed early and wake up ready to take on the world!

They stay physically active. These people prioritize exercise and choose a type of exercise that doesn’t feel like work. By staying physically active, they boost their energy levels, mental clarity and endurance. Now that’s what high efficiency is made of!

They develop mental “toughness.” Highly efficient people aren’t easily rattled. You can throw a last minute project on their full plate and they will still find a way to get it all done with time to spare. How? They keep a positive “I got this” attitude that helps them pull through even the most stressful scenario.

They know when to say no. This is a big one, which is why we saved it for last. Highly efficient people aren’t afraid to decline an invitation. Someone wants to have a meeting when a phone call would suffice? Decline. Someone asks you to lunch to solicit your business and you’re not interested? Decline. Someone wants you to help them, pro bono, for like the fifth time this month. DECLINE. By saying no to things they have no interest in doing, highly efficient people make more time to say yes to things they truly enjoy!

Would you consider yourself to be efficient with your time or not? Do you incorporate any of these habits into your daily routine? Share your thoughts by commenting below!

 
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Posted by on January 9, 2017 in Business & Success, Life

 

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Top 10 Blog Posts on Life and Entrepreneurship in 2016

Best of... onlineHappy New Year! Hopefully you have recovered from your holiday celebrations and have started to think about how you plan to make 2017 your best year yet.

Before we completely move on from 2016, I wanted to take one final look back at some of the insight and inspiration we’ve shared on the Bennis Inc blog, specifically on topics related to life and entrepreneurship. As I read through the year’s worth of writing, I found myself particularly drawn to these 10 articles. I hope that they give you a renewed passion for pursuing your dreams in 2017!

Life Lesson: Are You Satisfied or Merely Distracted?

It’s easy to find things to distract us, but it’s not quite as easy to find true satisfaction in life. So often these two feelings are confused which causes us to life a “busy” life, but not a fulfilled life. This blog helps you to identify the difference and make changes in your life to achieve satisfaction.

Read the original blog here.

Best Practices for Internal Communication During a Crisis

We never want to imagine something bad happening to our business or personal reputation, which is why so often we don’t have a plan to deal with a crisis. This blog offers best practices for internal communication – that means your staff, family, etc – when life throws you a curve ball.

Read the original blog here.

Thanking Up: Sharing gratitude with your superiors

When you want to show your boss appreciation, it can be an awkward situation. How do you properly thank a superior without it appearing condescending? This blog offers tips for how to “thank up” and show gratitude for people above you in rank.

Read the original blog here.

Parenthood: Adjusting to the Ever-Changing “New Normal”

This is a personal post that focuses on the journey of parenthood combined with entrepreneurship. Spoiler alert…it most certainly has its challenges! How have I adjusted to the “new normal” of running a business while raising a growing family? Take a look!

Read the original blog here.

What My Toddler Has Taught Me About Motivating People to Say Yes

Just about every parent can agree that a toddler’s favorite word is “No.” Each day is a new challenge to motivate my children to comply with my requests. Here’s what the experience has also taught me about motivating clients to say “Yes.”

Read the original blog here.

Declutter Your Life by Asking These 5 Questions

Whether you’re a neat freak or someone who wishes they could keep their life a bit more organized, this blog post can help you declutter by asking yourself five simple questions.

Read the original blog here.

The Power of Picking Your Focus

Some of the most successful people are those who can intensely focus on one goal and see it through completion. With the start of the New Year, this is a great article to re-read to help you prioritize your resolutions.

Read the original blog here.

How Some of the Worst Jobs Have Made My Career Better

We’re all had less than favorable career experiences, but rather than chalking it up as a failure, we can choose to learn something valuable. In this blog I recap some of my worst job experiences but how they ultimately led me to a fulfilling career.

Read the original blog here.

Can an Introvert Thrive in a Career in Public Relations?

Knowing now how much of an introvert that I am, I may have never chosen to pursue a career in PR. But that would have been a mistake! Introverts can most certainly thrive in a career in Public Relations and this blog explains how.

Read the original blog here.

5 Ways You Are Spreading Negativity Without Knowing It

No one enjoys being around a negative person. However, sometimes we spread negativity without realizing we’re doing so. Start the New Year off on a positive note by reading about the five ways we spread negatively unintentionally.

Read the original blog here.

Want to explore most blog posts from Stephanie Shirley and Bennis Inc? Be our guest! Click here to browse business and success, here to browse life and here to explore all the rest.

 
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Posted by on January 2, 2017 in Business & Success, Life, Wisdom

 

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How to Maintain Balance When Working from Home (Contribution from freelance writer Jenny Holt)

The following post comes to us from Jenny Holt, who left her HR career behind to pursue freelance writing and to spend more time with her young daughters at home. This article is based upon her own entrepreneurial journey and balancing family and work.


How to Maintain Balance When Working from Home

Portrait of beautiful young woman working in her office.

Maintaining your relationships while working from home can be a little more complicated than others may think. It is often assumed that since you are home all day, you have all the time in the world to socialize with friends or spend quality moments with your family. It is important for you to be firm from the beginning about you needing to actually work to make money, that you cannot be at the disposal of others just because you do not leave your house for work.

Based upon my personal experience with this very scenario, here are four tips for maintaining balance between your personal and professional life when working from home.

Find Worthwhile Opportunities

According to an article in Woman’s Day Magazine about Real Ways to Make Money from Home, there are 61 scams floating around the internet for every one legitimate work-at- home opportunity. If you already have a position with a company and are just taking your work from the office to a telecommuting setting, you do not have to worry about these scams. However, if you are just starting out, it is important to research true possibilities, rather than invest any time or money into fraudulent claims.

Create a Dedicated Work Space

You need a separate workspace in your home to be productive. Though a dining room table or extra dresser may work temporarily, it is hard to organize all of your supplies. Also, if your office is in a communal area of the home, the distractions alone can make for a very unproductive setting. If you cannot have a closed off space, think of a visual hint to let you family know you cannot be disturbed, such as having headphones on, whether they are plugged into anything or not.

Set Office Hours

Set work hours for yourself, as well as others. Though one of the benefits of working from home is flexibility in your schedule, if you allow too much flexibility you will not meet your goals. Do not answer personal phone calls, texts, or messages during your scheduled work times, unless they are true emergencies. Be firm with loved ones that they need to treat this as a real job

Give Yourself Breaks

An article on the Psychology Today website about How to Remain Sane/Productive when working from home talks about the importance of taking the time to recharge and connect with others. Just like you get breaks as an employee, you need to allocate them at home, as well. Work for a preset time, and then, return phone calls to chat, have lunch with your spouse, or have an after school snack with your kids.

The trick to maintaining balance when working for home is to leave work at work, at least in your mind. When the day is done, turn off your desk light and concentrate on your loved ones. This needs to be included in your daily schedule, along with business goals.

Do you work from home? Share your own tips for maintaining balance between personal and professional life!

 
 

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Avoid Making These 6 Mistakes With Your Holiday Promotions!

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We are in the thick of the holiday season which means we are being bombarded by sales and promotions from every angle. Mailed flyers and magazines, emails and social media advertisements all contribute to the noise and whirlwind of the holiday season.

If your business is planning to run a holiday sale, be sure to avoid these common mistakes which can cause your efforts to get lost in the shuffle – or worse yet – turnoff a potential customer. Take a look!

  1. Not giving customers enough time to take advantage of the sale

Nothing will frustrate your customers quite like a sale that gives them hardly any time to react. Don’t send out a coupon or promo code that is set to expire mere hours from the time it is received. Plan ahead so that your promotion lands in the hands of your customers with at least a week to react to it. The holidays are busy enough; your customers don’t want one more “urgent” to-do added to their list.

  1. After one promotion ends, running another one that’s event better

This is a personal pet-peeve of mine. I can’t stand when businesses run a promotion touted as “the best deal of the season” only to follow it up with an even better offer the next day or next week. The customers who took advantage of the first offer will likely feel taken advantage of themselves. This doesn’t mean you can’t run multiple promotions in a season, but be sure to structure them differently so it’s not literally the same offer with a better price tag.

  1. Using generic messaging

Your holiday promotions are yet another prime opportunity to establish your brand. Don’t resort to generic messaging like “Buy now!” or “Don’t delay!” Speak directly to your customers with a message that relates to their wants and needs. Remind them why they should want what you’re selling and most importantly, why they should do business with you over a competitor. If your brand is hip and fun, reflect that in your messaging. If your brand is high-end and exclusive, again…reflect that in your messaging!

  1. Focusing too heavily on acquiring new customers

Sure, every business hopes their holiday sales bring in some new customers. However, don’t forget to pay special attention to your loyal customers who will be the ones most likely to come to your business to buy gifts for their loved ones. Send them exclusive deals and discounts and make sure they know they are receiving this because of their loyalty. Bottom line: when your customers feel appreciated they are more likely to open their wallets.

  1. Bombarding your audience with too many promotions

If you plan to send out a holiday promotion every day between now and Christmas Eve…don’t. Not only will you see your email opens drastically decrease with every passing day, you may also turn off your customers to the point where they unsubscribe entirely. Carefully think through every email you plan to send and be sure the messaging is valuable enough that even if a few people fall off your list because of it, you’ll attract enough other customers that it’s still worth it.

  1. Using scare tactics or guilt

Finally, don’t use negative sales tactics to try and gain new customers over the holidays. This is a time when people want to feel happy! By scaring them with messaging like “You’ll be the only one without…” or “This is the last chance you’ll ever have to get…” they will associate these negative emotions with your brand. Equally as damaging is using guilt like “Don’t let your child be the only one without…” or “Don’t you want to give your loved one the best…?” Keep it positive and uplifting! Sell joy, happiness and fun.

What holiday promotion tactics do you find most frustrating? Share your thoughts by commenting below.

 
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Posted by on December 12, 2016 in Business & Success

 

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